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PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



By the same author 



CREAM TOASTS 

BUTTERED TOASTS 

OLD ACE AND OTHER POEMS 

PICKETT'S CHARGE AND OTHER POEMS 




Patriotic Toasts 



By 

FRED EMERSON BROOKS 




CHICAGO 

Forbes & Company 
1917 






Copyright, 1917, by 
Forbes and Company 



AUG 23 I9f7 

O'5'o 



©GLA473454 

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^ CONTENTS 

Page 

S^ My Country 9 

Democracy for All the World 11 

The Soldier's Oath 12 

/ Meinself und Gott 13 

j 

The Tramp of Freedom 15 

The Navy 16 

The Call of Uncle Sam 17 

The Yankee-Dude- '11 Do 19 

The Volunteer 20 

Liberty's Banner 21 

The Battle Cry of Feed 'Em. 23 

An American 24 

The Stars and Stripes 25 

The Entente Greet Uncle Sam 26 



CONTENTS 



Page 

Defending Freedom 29 

The American Soldier Lad 30 

The American Sailor Boy 31 

The Slacker 32 

Old Eagle 33 

The Teutons' Banqtuet 35 

America's Prayer 37 

To France 38 

The Ensign 39 

Grand Old Eagle 41 

What Has the Butcher Won? 42 

Uncle Sam and Johnny Bull 43 

The Goddess of Liberty 45 

Old Glory 46 

To Our Own Good Germans 49 



6 



CONTENTS 



Page 

Our Navy 50 

The Eagle Bird 51 

The Meanest Coward 52 

Uncle Sam 53 

Freedom Follows the Banner 54 

Soldiers Ready Made 55 

To America 57 

The Eagle 58 

Does War Pay? 59 

We Love Thee, Old Glory 60 

Kaiser Wins in a Walk 61 

The American Boy 62 

Freedom's War 63 

Pain in Their Belly-gium 65 

Liberty Enlightening the World 66 



CONTENTS 



Page 

Pat's Opinion of the Flag 67 

The Land of Freedom 69 

Whence Came Our Flag? 71 

The Dream of Military Glory 72 

Freedom's Banner 73 

To the Kaiser 74 

The American Aeroplane 75 

To the Russian 77 

What Has Germany Earned? 78 

Blossoms for the Brave 79 

The Blue and the Gray 82 

Ahraham Lincoln 83 

Rememher the Maine 85 

Panama 88 

The Devil's Prayer 91 



PA 



trTotT^t^asts 



MY COUNTRY 

From every laughing, sunny rill 

I drink a toast to vale and hill ; 

To mountain range and prairies broad, 

As from the wine press of our God. 

When lightning rips the sky in twain 
I drink a toast in falling rain ; 
And when a star drops in my cup — 
A kiss from Heaven — I drink it up. 

To all the flowers and elfin crew, 
Who come at night a-sprinkling dew; 
The forest and the woodland throng 
Where Freedom hears her sweetest song. 



■PffffffW 



T U A. » T » 



The land where Liberty was born ; 
Where plenty greets the smiling morn ; 
I love to watch her eagle soar ; 
And if I could, I'd love her more. 



The grandest nation earth can boast ; 
I love each state from coast to coast ; 
I love thee for thy freedom most ; 
"My Country, 'Tis of Thee"— I toast. 



ir A'l' KfLWi: 1 V 



^^WP^^^> 



DEMOCRACY FOR ALL THE WORLD 

My Country ! My Country ! 

Where Liberty began ! 
I love her for her strength and worth ; 
For what she means to all the earth. 

Old Glory's in the van, 
To teach mankind was she unfurled ; 
Democracy for all the world 

And brotherhood of man. 



±r 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE SOLDIER'S OATH 

I'll suffer fatigue and hunger, 
I'll tramp in the mud and the rain, 

But never will suffer a mortal 
To tear that loved banner in twain ! 

I'll suffer the wounds of the battle, 
And down to my grave bear the scars, 

Before I will suffer a mortal 
To pull down the Stripes and the Stars ! 

I'll suffer the pangs of the dying ! 

The chains of the captive I'll drag ! 
I even will suffer dishonor. 

But not to my dear country's flag ! 



12 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



MEINSELF UND GOTT 

Dot Yankee Army — Aber Nit! 

Dey cannot fight a little bit, 

Dey never make dot home-run hit : 

I toldt you vot — 
Dey vants to drag me from mine throne; 
Dot kind of speak vas hot ozone : 
I whip dem all meinself alone — 

Veil— Meinself und Gott! 

Ven I got through mein rear-advance 
Und rule der vorld und all of France 
I giff der Eitel Fritz a chance ! 

Yust think on dot! 
I got to pass mein glory down — 



13 



^A^TRIOTIC TOASTS 



Der Prince got nodings in der crown, 
Yust two have got dot world renown: 
Meinself und Gott. 



14 



T>A ■P'R.TOTTf! TOASTS 



THE TRAMP OF FREEDOM 

How firm the tramp of Freedom, 

How stately is her mien — 
On her triumphant banner 

There's neither blot nor stain; 
She never goes to battle 

Save to redress a wrong, 
A prayer within her bosom 

And in her throat a song. 



ig 






PATRIOTIC 



MM 



TS 



THE NAVY 

Hail, mighty war-dogs dressed in gray! 
Huge floating forts of terror! 

Great guns are they 

Our gunners play, 
Who shoot, and rarely count an error. 

And here's a fact to keep in sight — 
Which is no tittle-tattle — 
In any fight 
Our ships of might 
Have never lost a single battle. 

On paper we are rated third— 
But that's a doubtful matter— 

And seems absurd 

For, bless my word ! — 
We're always first upon the water. 

16 



PATBIOTIC TOASTS 



THE CALL OF UNCLE SAM 

Oh, the Red, White and Blue, 

Is the banner for you — 
It stands for home and freedom : 

With a million score 

And a million more 
When Uncle Sam shall need 'em. 



And we want to know : 

Are you ready to go 
At the call of Uncle Sam? 

When you know you're right 

Are you ready to fight? 
If you are then shout— '1 am !" 

We don't want war 

But we're bound to fight for 



17 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Our Country and Old Glory ; 

And when we are through 

With a battle or two 
They'll find it the same old story. 

We'll fight on the sea 

For the land of the free 
And the freedom of the ocean. 

When you hear the eagle cry 

There's blood in his eye — 
He can fight when he takes the notion. 



18 



PATRIOTIC TO ASTS 



THE YANKEE-DUDE-'LL DO 

Our Yankee Eagle's flyin* 

To help the British Lion 
And pledge our love to noble France anew. 

With the famous English dude 

In his fighting attitude 
We'll show 'em what the Yankee-dude-'U do! 



19 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE VOLUNTEER 

Our God shall guard the land we love, 
Where dwells the eagle and the dove ; 
Where none are warriors by trade, 
But all are soldiers ready made. 

Should foreign foe sound war's alarms^ 
A myriad freemen rush to arms ; 
No power defeats the man of toil, 
Who fights for home and his own soil. 



20 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



LIBERTY'S BANNER 

No despots rule, no tyrants rise 
Where Liberty's great banner flies, 
And soars that monarch of the skies — 

Our grand old eagle, hoary. 
Where rich and poor together cling. 
And fight for Justice, while they sing 
Of Freedom, there's no conquering 

The sons of dear Old Glory. 

Each star a nation grand and free, 
Each stripe a bond of liberty ; 
Where'er it floats, on land or sea. 
It tells the self-same story — 
No hand shall wield oppression's rod 
Where Progress' gleaming feet have trod. 



21 



PATBIOTIC TOASTS 



Where Justice rules, with Freedom's God 
Defending dear Old Glory. 

And when our eagle, soaring high. 

Trails that loved banner through the sky, 

The nation hears her battle-cry — 

That grand old eagle, hoary — 
From North and South, from either shore, 
Brave millions gather millions more ; 
From peerless fleets great cannon roar, 

Defenders of Old Glory. 



22 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE BATTLE CRY OF FEED 'EM 

Yes, we'll rally round the farm, boys, 
We'll rally once again, 
Shouting the battle cry of Feed 'Em. 
We've got the ships and money 
And the best of fighting men. 
Shouting the battle cry of Feed 'Em. 

The onion forever, the beans and the corn, 
Down with the tater — it's up the next morn- 
While we rally round the plow, boys, 
And take the hoe again. 
Shouting the battle cry of Feed 'Em. 



23 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



AN AMERICAN 

Let others boast of clique or clan, 
There is no prouder boast of man 
Than this : "I am American !" 

The nation great in story, 
Where one can rise from any grade, 
And few are warriors by trade, 
But all are soldiers ready made. 

To fight for dear Old Glory. 



24 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE STARS AND STRIPES 

What though I brag 

About the flag ; 
She well deserves renown : 

No enemy 

On land or sea 
Has ever pulled her down. 



25 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE ENTENTE GREET UNCLE SAM 

I'm Johnnie Bull and rawther swell 
With all my children fighting well 
'Gainst those who break all human laws! 
And with the rampant Lion's claws 
Help Uncle Sam in any cause. 

I am ze fight-man from Paree, 

I like to make ze Teuton flee. 

We have good Uncle Sam een France — 

We know heem by ze stripy pants — 

And now we make ze Teuton dance. 

I hardly know just what I am-sky, 
But I'm a friend of Uncle Sam-sky, 
I am the mighty Russ-covitz, 



26 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



I've been in such a muss-covitz, 
I've had to stop and cuss-covitz, 

Italia-man he like-a yet 
Da macaroni an' spaget. 
Da Dago like American — 
He tink-a since da worl' began 
Da Uncle was da great-a man. 

And I'm the proper Irish rogue, 
Wid me shillalah and me brogue ; 
I use them both when in a row ; 
Should any creature wonder how 
Here's one for Uncle Sam right now. 

I'm glad ye love yer Uncle Sam ! 
Ye sent for me and here I am! 



27 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



The Kaiser started this big fuss 

To butcher off the rest of us 

And leave himself the biggest cuss. 



28 



1PATEI0TIC TOASTS 



DEFENDING FREEDOM 

Have no fear of warring nations 
With invading banners flown; 

Who can conquer freedom's millions 
When they fight for what they own? 



29 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE AMERICAN SOLDIER LAD 

A health to the American soldier lad ! 
He's in the war and mighty glad, 
A free born soul in khaki clad 

With Freedom's oriflamb. 
He's got the graceful fighter's swing, 
He's ready to march, or fight, or sing, 
He knows he's right — another thing — 

He fights for Uncle Sam. 



IRT 




PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



H 



THE AMERICAN SAILOR BOY 

We cheer the American sailor boy ! 
He's on the sea with a sailor's joy ; 
At a friendly fleet he shouts "Ahoy!" 

And joins in song and story. 
But when the enemy appears 
He's up against the cannoneers 
Whose bull's-eye shots bring home the cheers- 

The cheers for dear Old Glory. 



31 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE SLACKER 

A man who won't fight for his country 
Should be driven clear out of the state. 

A man who won't fight for his homestead 
Deserves not the love of a mate. 

A country must needs be defended. 

The slacker lays back on the shelf 
And leaves the defending to others, 

But leaves the disgrace to himself. 



32 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



OLD EAGLE 

Fear not, grand eagle, 

The bay of the beagle ! 
No hunter his gun will incline ! 

He's branded with shame 

Whoever takes aim 
At thy freedom, a right divine ! 

Great bird, thou art king 

Of all that bear wing ! 
And this was thy country of old ! 

'V/ay back in creation. 

Before 'twas a nation. 
Or known to Columbus, the bold. 

As the dove was the guide 
To the ark on the tide. 



33 



:OTIC TOASTS 



To freedom thou ever hast been — 

Flying out on the sea 

To greet Liberty, ^ 
And pilot the Mayflower in! 

'Twas thy sweeping wing 

Did the first breath bring 
To the sail of the old Constitution; 

And from first to last 

Thou didst wheel 'round her mast 
In the smoke of the great Revolution. 

From thine eyrie, the crag. 

Watch over thy flag. 
And ne'er let it trail in the dust ! 

Soaring high in the air 

Ever this aegis bear : 
"In Freedom and God is our Trust/* 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE TEUTONS' BANQUET 

The Germans kept on drinking 

The nation's toast : **Der Tag !" 
"We'll dine on English mutton 

And eat the Frenchman's frog." 
They'd caviar the Russian 

And spy the Russian bear, 
But, oh, the indigestion 

They got from Belgian hare. 

From eating cold blut sausage 
They thought to eat the earth. 

These Huns got very Hun-gry 
Before they filled their girth. 

They've picked the bones of Turkey 



35 



PATRIOTIC 


TOASTS 


And now they're out of Greece, 
But Uncle's ham is coming 
They'll have to beg a Peace. 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



AMERICA'S PRAYER 

Unfurl the banners of the free ; 
Let every nation gathered be 
Within the world's democracy 

With its own creed. 
Hurl bloody tyrants from their thrones 
And hear the prayers and stop the groans 
Of those who toil with weary bones 

For others' greed. 



37 



PATRIOTIC TO 



Mi 



TO FRANCE 

Here's a health to France, and we love her yet 
For her Rochambeau and her Lafayette. 
Though men pass on, love grows not old. 
And generous deeds by history told 
Still live in the heart — and we behold 
How Freedom repays her old time debt 
With money and food and the bayonet. 



38 



PATRIOTIC TO 



TS 



THE ENSIGN 

Here on the brink of battle 
I fondly kiss each fold ; 

For yonder musket rattle 
My destiny may hold ! 
Dear Flag! 

Our regiment is standing 
In battle's dumb array — 

And waits but the commanding, 
To dash into the fray! 
Dear Flag! 

Like fierce stampede of cattle, 
We'll rush where foe besets, 

Right in the teeth of battle — 
Those glistening bayonets ! 
Dear Flag! 



39 



MMM 



TIC TOASTS 



And I'm the one to bear thee ! 

The one to lead the way ! 
The God of battles spare me, 

To bring thee back today ! 
Dear Flag! 

If I shall fall in battle, 

Why, thou wilt be my shroud. 
When muffled drum shall rattle 

Its anthem to the cloud ! 
Dear Flag ! 

Then, by the clod and clover. 
Hid from the blue on high. 

Thy blue sky shall be over, 
Thy bright stars ever nigh ! 
Dear Flag ! 



40 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



GRAND OLD EAGLE 

The grand old eagle soaring high 
To guard the banner in the sky, 
A hundred million freemen cry, 

"All Hail! All Hail!" 
And while she stands for Liberty 
Beside the banner of the free 
No hostile power on land or sea 

Shall e'er prevail. 



41 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



WHAT HAS THE BUTCHER WON? 

With all his cruelties and crime 

What has the Kaiser won? 
The title : "Butcher of All Time"— 

This Attila the Hun. 

He's won a world of women's frowns, 
And henceforth he'll be known 

As one who sought so many crowns 
He thereby lost his own. 



42 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



UNCLE SAM AND JOHNNY BULL 

Uncle Sam and Johnny Bull 
Went out one day and got so full 

Of friendly admiration, 
They swore they'd never fallen out 
And ne'er again would brag about 

Which had the bigger nation. 

Said John: *ln Seventeen Seventy-six 
We had a rawther nawsty mix 

About some bloomin' tea : 
We've clean forgot the blawsted row — 
Let's talk about alliance now!" 

Said Sam : "Have one with me ! 

"We'll strike that Anglo-Saxon air 
The race is singing everywhere ; 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



And sing it while we quaff — 
*God Save the Queen !' one stanza be ! 
The next, *My Country, 'Tis of TheeT 

That makes it 'alf and 'alf !" 



44 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE GODDESS OF LIBERTY 

She's a regular out and outer, 

And there's heaps o' style about 'er, 

And you never think to doubt 'er, 

With the Peace-dove on her brow. 
Though she wears a union wrapper 
She's a husky and a strapper ; 
She's chain-lightning as a scrapper 

When she's forced into a row. 



^r 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



OLD GLORY 

Bright mantle of freedom ! What beauty 

Shines out from each delicate fold ! 
Man defends it from love, not from duty — 
A love that makes valor more bold; 
Rushing on to his death 
With a prayer on his breath ; 
And the soul that ascends when the patriot dies 
Stops to kiss the bright folds on its way to the 
skies. 

Those bright colors that fade in the even 

Are caught in the sunset on high ; 
Transferred to the blue field of heaven 
Those stars shine all night in the sky ! 
And the morning's first glory 
Tells one simple story, 



46 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



As it brings back each star and bright color 
again : 

Day and night and forever our flag shall re- 
main! 

As soft as the great eagle's pinion 
It floats on the much softer air ; 
Where none may dispute its dominion 
And none with its beauty compare ! 
Should the whole world assail 
It could never prevail ! 
Ere its bright folds be trampled by conquering 

heel 
Every blade in the meadow would turn into 
steel ! 



Bright proof of the patriot's story, 
Its legend is ever the same. 



47 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



M 



We may add many stars to its glory, 
But never a stripe to its fame ! 

Over old Bunker Hill 

Are its folds waving still, 
Like an old Continental come out of the past! 
'Twas for liberty born — 'twill for liberty last! 



48 



PATKIOTIC TOASTS 



TO OUR OWN GOOD GERMANS 

To our peaceful German we give a toast : 

A jovial f riend^ — a generous host ; 

No better citizen have we known 

Under the banner we call our own. 

He loves our country : In all of her wars 

He has shown his love for the Stripes and Stars. 

But what of the tyrant who gambled with Fate 
And poisoned the earth with a world of hate? 
Invader of peace, like a pestilence hurled 
To devastate nations or conquer the world. 
Our Apache was never a patch to the Hun 
With Satan o'er-matched and the Devil out- 
done. 



49 



PATBIOTIC TOASTS 



OUR NAVY 

Our Navy! Our Navy! 

No better rides the sea, 
With Freedom's sons behind the guns 

Who fight to set men free. 

Our Navy! Our Navy! 

Each brave marine and tar 
Is glad to go and fight a foe 

That breeds a brutal war. 



50 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE EAGLE BIRD 

Here's to the first known aeroplane, 

Our grand old eagle proud, 
Who bathes his feathers in heavenly rain 

And wipes his wings on a cloud. 

He can race the hurricane in his play 

And pass the thunderbolt by ; 
And gaze bare-eyed at the god of day 

Or pluck the stars from the sky. 

For Uncle Sam he's the emblem bird 
That laid the eggs of freedom. 

A peaceful bird, but when he's stirred 
He'll fight 'em all or— feed 'em. 



.51 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE MEANEST COWARD 

The meanest coward earth has known, 

Whom angels most abhor, 
While coveting another's throne — 
With no life sacred but his own — 
Sets on the Brutes of war. 

How one despises such a man 

Who starts the others smiting, 
And unexposed, because of fear. 
Himself keeps safely in the rear; 
Away from all the fighting. 



52 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



UNCLE SAM 

Dear Uncle Sam will seldom frown 
Nor has he very much to say, 

But once he puts his big foot down 
All nations take their feet away. 



53 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



FREEDOM FOLLOWS THE BANNER 

Lift high the banner 

That all may scan her ; 
The Stars for our friends, the Stripes for our 
foes, 

Let tyrants fear it 

And all men cheer it, 
For freedom follows where the banner goes. 



54 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



SOLDIERS READY MADE 

Here one may rise from any grade 
And few are warriors by trade, 
For all are soldiers ready made 
Among the free. 

When hearts are free the arms are strong, 
And soldiers singing freedom's song 
Will always bear that flag along 
To victory. 

Where Justice sets her shining face 
Demanding freedom for the race, 
There human Progress sets the pace 
That all must go. 



55 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Where schools are crowning every hill 
There springs a race of might and skill 
To make a nation what they will 
And keep her so. 



56 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



TO AMERICA 

Were I, great nation, to give thee a toast, 
This would I say, without idle boast : 
Land of the freeman, to Liberty given. 
The pride of the earth and the favored of 

heaven. 
Broken from Europe by thunderbolts hurled — 
Pushed out in mid-ocean to balance the world ! 
V/hen Father Time writes thine epitaph 
The world's great glory is lessened by half. 



57 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE EAGLE 

To our Eagle, who soars in the sky ; 
One country alone in his eye. 

His sole occupation 

Is watching the nation 
Lives at peace till his temper gets high ; 
But look out when there's olood in his eye. 



58 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



DOES WAR PAY? 

Though his army's rather meager- 

So they say — 
Uncle Sam is getting eager 

For the fray. 
Foreign wars are rather risky, 
Yet he's feeling mighty frisky : 
If it only knocks out whisky, 

War will pay* 



59 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



WE LOVE THEE, OLD GLORY 

We love thee, Old Glory; 

Hope made thy design 
And Freemen thy story; 

Thy tints are divine — 
God mated the lily 

To wed with the rose. 
By the garden of blue 

Where the white blossom grows. 
May Liberty gather 

Mankind in its girth 
Till thine anthem of peace 

Be the song of the earth. 



60 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



KAISER WINS IN A WALK 

"American soldiers would better stay home !'^ 
The Kaiser said, as he blew the foam. 
He's had a taste of American grit — 
Canadian-Americans furnished it. 
But where is the boasted German might 
That must be dug out to make it fight? 
Begin at the Marne and then retreat — 
Their victories roar like a big defeat. 
They'll win in a walk — Oh, yes ! They'll win 
In a big, long walk back to Berlin. 



61 



PATEIOTIC TOASTS 



THE AMERICAN BOY 

Beneath the starry flag we play the host 
And give our soldier-sailor lads a toast : 

He loves his flag — stands ready to salute it ; 
Born with a gun, he knows just how to shoot 
it. 

No better country for a boy to love ; 
No better stuff to make a soldier of. 

He's born a freeman with no rent to pay 
To any monarch for the light of day. 

He loves his Uncle Sam — God bless his bones— 
And when he fights he fights for what he owns. 



62 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



FREEDOM'S WAR 

For years have scheming tyrants planned 
To rule the world with iron hand; 
And lay what tribute they demand 

To fight the others by. 
With every damning plot combined 
They fling defiance to mankind ; 
Their marshaled millions make them blind 

To every human cry. 

Americans, arise and go 
To help put down the Freemen's foe, 
And let the world-defenders know 
Just what Old Glory's for. 



fi.q 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



We hear our soaring eagle call: — 
"Help France to break the Invader's thrall! 
Who fights for Freedom fights for all" — 
And this is Freedom's war. 



64 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



PAIN IN THEIR BELLY-GIUM 

Hurrah for the Germans' rear-advance: — 
The march-ahead-backwards out of France. 
As soon as the Allies can dig them out 
Their fighting spirit turns inside out. 
They're brave enough inside of a trench, 
But not in the open with British and French. 
They laugh at the Yankees — but wait till they 

come 
And they'll give 'em a pain in their Belly-gium. 



65 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



LIBERTY ENLIGHTENING THE 
WORLD 

Beneath the azure canopy on high, 

While round her brow the winds of freedom 
play, 
Upon her granite, towering to the sky. 

Stands Liberty between the blue and gray. 

Mute priestess standing, Bible in her hand. 
She pledges all who enter by the sea, 

**Take what you will within this promised land. 
But never touch her glorious liberty. 

"Drop rancor in the waters of the bay. 

Where peaceful rivers meet the turbid sea; 

With heaven's dew immersed or ocean's spray. 
Take Liberty's baptism of the free.'* 



66 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



PAT'S OPINION OF THE FLAG 

Every man in the world thinks his banner the 
best. 
And his national song 
Is often too long, 
Yet in praising his flag he makes sport of the 

rest, 
Though there's many a truth that is spoken in 
jest. 
Save wid malice prepense 
There should be no offense. 

But one of the prettiest flags that I know 
Is the great oriflamb 
Of our old Uncle Sam 



67 



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Wid the red and white bars all laid out in a 

row, 
And a nice pasture blue for the bright stars to 
grow; 
Wid the eagle above 
And around it the dove. 

Of the Star-Spangled Banner alone, it is said, 

She has earned this renown — 

She was niver pulled down. 
With the green on my grave and that flag over- 
head 
I think I'll rest aisy! But wait till I'm dead! 

Wid that flag in the sky 

I'm in no haste to die. 



68 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE LAND OF FREEDOM 

Go ask the serf with longing sigh — 
Who plows the field he cannot buy 
And owns no space except the sky — 

Where he would dwell. 
Or ask of him within the town 
Who lifts his hat, yet fears to frown 
On tyranny that grinds him down, 

Where he would dwell. 

Here's to the land where man is free 

To eat the fruit of his own tree ; 

Where worth counts more than pedigree, 

And, strange to tell. 
Where one great state has room galore 



69 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



ium 



To feed the world and something more- 
With freedom's banner floating o'er 
His citadel. 



70 



PATRIOTIC TOASTJ 



WHENCE CAME OUR FLAG? 

Up where the white clouds float overhead, 
Where the wine o£ the sunset stripes them red, 

That's where we found the bars. 
A patch from the blue our eagle tore, 
Brought down with the thirteen stars it bore — 
In times of need he brought down more 

Till the Jack is filled with stars. 
To teach one truth are its stripes unfurled: — 
That freedom belongs to the big round world 
And tyrants should from their thrones be 
hurled 

And sent straightway to — Mars! 



71 



P ATTMQTTG TO A RTS 



THE DREAM OF MILITARY GLORY 

Why do we fight the fighters? 

Think what theyVe fighting for! 
Fight fire with fire, we answer, 

Fight war with greater war. 

They are dreaming, they are scheming, 

For a military sway, 
But their gory steps to glory 

Do but lead another way. 

Oh, the sorrow on the morrow 

When they waken from the thrall 

With the Vulture croaking '^Kultur"— 
What a nightmare after all. 



A 



PAT RIOT? I C TOASTS 



FREEDOM'S BANNER 

Our banner leads the army ! 
Our banner rides the sea ! 

Our army fights 

For human rights 
To make the whole world free. 

Our eagle has been laying 
Some eggs of monster size; 

And when they hatch 

There'll be a batch, 
To dominate the skies. 



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PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



TO THE KAISER 

O thou devourer of peoples, 

To burn, to pillage and rob ; 
If heaven created thee ruler 

The Devil has ruined the job. 

Through the world that once crowned thee 
with honor — 

Like a pestilence poisoning the air, 
You have battled your way to destruction ; 

Your toast is the tears of despair. 



74 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE AMERICAN AEROPLANE 

A Yankee invention to conquer the air — 
Not stopping to mention that U-Boat affair- 
Intended for peace, that a mortal might fly, 
And not a war-eagle to battle on high. 

But now it is used as an aerial spy, 
A scout of air — and the general's eye. 

Its talons are wheels and it frightens the hawk. 
With its two-story wings and its gun-fire talk. 

The hawk knows the eagle, the vulture, the 

crow. 
But what of this terrible spit-fire foe? 



75 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Its beak whirls around; and alas and alack — 
It carries its young in a hole in its back. 

It rests on the ground while its wings are out- 
spread, 
But when it stops singing it falls down dead. 

When up in the clouds it is fighting its foe, 
And dropping its eggs to the people below, 

Where they soon incubate in the fire and the 

smoke 
And bring a dire fate to the poor soldier folk ; 

Causing horrid dismay, while it seems so 

absurd — 
And a terrible way to hatch a big bird. 



76 



PATEIOTIO TOASTS 



TO THE RUSSIAN 

A toast to the Russian who rose in the war 
And brought monarchy down with a terrible 
jar. 

He is free, to be rated 

As one God created, 
And not as a dog at the heels of the Czar. 



77 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



WHAT HAS GERMANY EARNED? 

V/hat has she earned but hate 
For all of her murderous deeds? 

Some that the Devil can't mate, 

Can't even imitate, 
Born of her hellish creeds. 



78 



PATBI 



m& 



TOASTS 



BLOSSOMS FOR THE BRAVE 

We think of you as brave and true, 

Grand army of the dead; 
You are asleep 'neath sod and dew, 

Grand army of the dead ; 
Thou who didst the nation save, 
Here we come to deck thy grave, 
Scattering blossoms on the brave. 
Grand army of the dead. 

No more ye hear the cannon boom. 

Grand army of the dead ; 
Your flag is floating o'er your tomb. 

Grand army of the dead ; 
Here we come with flowers today, 
Here our orisons we say. 



79 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Sleep ye there till judgment day, 
Grand army of the dead. 

Your bivouac tent a grassy knoll, 

Grand army of the dead ; 
Eternal rest your long parole, 

Grand army of the dead ; 
Death-white lips, the blood-red hue, 
Staining every blouse of blue. 
Show the nation's debt to you. 

Grand army of the dead. 

Comrades, uncover! Make salute! 

Grand army of the dead ; 
Sweet messengers these flowers mute, 

Grand army of the dead ; 



80 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Precious blood where valor dies, 
Hallowed spot where patriot lies. 
Gateway up to paradise, 
Grand army of the dead. 



81 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



THE BLUE AND THE GRAY 

Time's greatest armies fought; 

Then stood the world amazed, 
Forced to digest the thought : 

That we both armies raised. 

Those onetime foes are friends ; 

One flag the country through. 
The world now comprehends 

The Gray fights with the Blue. 

So firm the bond is tied 
Between these men today, 

The Blue would now divide 
Their pension with the Gray. 



PATBIOTIO TOASTS 



ABRAHAM LINCOLN 

From out the common toil was born a man 
Within a rude log cabin plainer than 

The bible manger where man's faith was 

bred : 
A man whose fame shall through the ages 
spread — 
The great immortal of our mortal clan. 

Among his forebears who is there of worth 
To warrant this great miracle of birth? 

No morning stars in gladsome chorus sung 
When greatness out of mild oblivion 
sprung : — 
The hope of freedom, the beloved of earth. 



83^ 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Obscurely born and yet he rose to be 
The most colossal man of history. 

Walking with wisdom, made the heart his 
guide ; 

In every action took the human side 
As though he had been bred in Galilee. 

Our greater names high on the walls of fame 
Are set in letters bold of living flame; 

But higher yet, up where our eagles fly, 
Where Dawn has flung our aegis on the 
sky, 
There love, in letters gold, puts Lincoln's name. 



84 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



REMEMBER THE MAINE 

When Dewey stole into Manila Bay, 
Ere the dawn of the first retribution day, 

He was facing a two-fold doubt : 
'Twill be war when the forts and fleets begin! 
But the channel is mined, will he ever get in? 

Once in, will he ever get out? 
With a hooded lamp as a stern guide-light, 
Like a torch of death for the dying night. 
Those darkened hulls up the harbor steal. 
With a trail of foam, where the pitiless keel 

Has written the doom of Spain! 
Soon those guns shall be roaring, from jaws 
of death, 



85 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



What each gunner is whispering under his 
breath : — 
"Remember, remember the Maine!'* 

While the forts are belching their terrible 

bombs, 
The Philistines' challenging flagship comes, 

Like the great Goliath of old! 
But she turns, for a sling-shot smashes her 

prow, 
While another has ripped her from stern to 

bow. 
With the flames bursting up from her hold ! 
Her battered companions are all on fire, 
To sink in the blaze of their funeral pyre ! 
The smoke of the battle made heaven to frown ; 



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PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



M 



While the battle god, hurling his meteors 
down, 

Shattered the war-dogs of Spain! 
But the signal to Admiral Dewey ran: — 
No harm hath fallen to ship or man 

Of those who remember the Maine! 



87 



PATRIOTIC TOAST} 



PANAMA 

The Optimist cried Hallelujah! 

When Progress laid hold of the plow 
To cut the huge trench for the nations, 

Where Commerce has pointed her prow. 

He has broken the spine of the Isthmus 
And shattered the ribs of the rock, 

And beckoned the steeds of the billows 
And halted the tide with a lock. 

Through the trail of bewildered Balboa, 
Where the mariner's flag was unfurled. 

The hemisphere's broken asunder 
In the narrowest part of the world. 

By plowing the furrow of ages 
Each ocean is robbed of a shore 



88 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



And now go the sea and the sailor 
Where neither had traveled before. 

The steeds of the sea, long forbidden 
To trespass, go galloping through 

This palm bordered lane of the tropics 
Fast dragging the ship and the crew. 

The mariner's compass is altered 

And changed is his chart by decree: 

They have shortened the song of the sailor 
By lessening the breadth of the sea. 

This master achievement of mortals 
All nations are honoring now: 

They have wedded the seas with a hyphen, 
Divorcing the land with a plow. 



89 



PATB 



nij? VMU 



Thus man with his earth eating engine 
Has dug out an overland sea, 

Where the banners of nations in passing 
Pay salute to the flag of the free. 



THE DEVIL'S PRAYER 

The Devil made a prayer and said : 
Who started hell just overhead? 

These war lords set the earth aflame 
And rob the devil of his fame ; 

While Christians slay their fellowmen 
And make the earth a slaughter pen. 

Aye, let them rave and belch and roar 
And millions slaughter millions more; 

Mow down the quivering ranks of men. 
The shattered phalanx fills again. 

Grim Death has laid his scythe away 
To harvest by machine, the day. 



91 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



I hear them falling as they tread : 

Count those that live, I'll count the dead ! 

Turn on the thunder-guns of hate ; 
Tear men to fragments — call it fate ; 

Loose poison gas and burning oil ; 
With dead, in trenches, plant the soil. 

"Thou shalt not kill" means thou alone, 
But not the legions of the throne. 

Though murder retail be a crime. 
Yet murder wholesale is sublime. 

'Tis slaughter brings the Victor bays : 
The dead are dead for all their days. 



92 



? 



At RI O TIC? !r OASTS 



Like Pharaoh they seem to me 
To flounder in a bloody sea. 

Kill off the righteous and the wise. 
Who would the planet civilize. 

Destroy the arts, the poor condemn 
And let the heathen finish them ; 

Turn on the furnaces of hell, 
Blow up the globe, 'tis but a shell ; 

Plant death-bulbs in the hungry sea 

And blame the righteous — don't blame me. 

Bid submarines to lie in wait ; 

Sow death and reap a world of hate ; 



93 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



Let monster vultures crowd the skies 
And do dark deeds that men despise; 

Show heathen what you battle for 
And how the Christians go to war. 

All peace destroy, all joy and mirth. 
And bid me come and rule the earth. 

Excuse the lengthy prayer IVe made — 
'Tis the only time I ever prayed. 



dT 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



By the same author 
CREAM TOASTS 

BUTTERED TOASTS 

Every toast in these books is new and original 
and as charming as all the work of this popular 
humorist. None is *^dry toast." 

* ' Clever, sparkling toasts by one of the brightest poets 

of the daj.^' — San Francisco News Letter, 

^* These books will be a blessing to all after-dinner 

speakers. ' ' — Boston Glohe. 

''Very clever and sensible." — BooTc News Monthly, 
''They will make any fellow's mouth water and cause 

him to ask for more. '^ — Seattle Post Intelligencer. 
' ' Brooks is a poet ; he is a genius. ' ' — New YorTc World, 
' ' Brooks ' poems abound in pathos, wit and humor. ' ' — 

Chicago Herald, 

Attractive covers in colors. 

Price. Each, 50 cents 

FORBES & CO., Publishers, Chicago 



95 



PATRIOTIC TOASTS 



OTHER BOOKS BY 

FRED EMERSON BROOKS 

'* Brooks is a great poet and a genius of great ability. 
Humor and pathos abound throughout his poems, and 
many partake of the inspiration of the war-drum, but he 
is thoroughly at home in whatever strain of melody he 
chooses to adopt.'' — Atlanta Constitution. 

PICKETT'S CHARGE AND OTHER 
POEMS 

' ' There is in Brooks ' poems the dash of the unexpected, 
like a cavalry charge/' — General Phil Sheridan. 

Cloth, 12mo, gilt top, 214 pages, $1.25. 

OLD ACE AND OTHER POEMS 

*' There is a freshness and music and joyousness and 
jollity and naturalness in Fred Emerson Brooks' poems 
that make them charming. In the handsome volume the 
reader can find something for every mood and condition. 
He can shed tears or laugh- he can be jolly or sad." — 
Chicago Inter Ocean. 

Cloth, 12mo, gilt top, 208 pages, $1.25. 
FORBES & CO., Publishers, Chicago 



96^ 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 





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